Culture is something that has been opposed many times throughout human history. However, in the majority of cases, it prevails due to a good reputation for improving livelihoods or a lack of credibility in culture-critical ideas. This argument seems to be a battle between the two sides of a dichotomy: conservative vs. liberal; cutting edge vs. old school; proven vs. potential. But perhaps it is necessary to jolt the foundations of the formation of culture in order to observe why it is trusted the way it is and why it leads to the kind of stubbornness we witness everyday in people.
What is culture? Culture is a conglomeration of ideas, attitudes, and customs embraced by a people that has proven to deliver a solid, dependable way to accomplish goals. For a corporation, a culture helps establish norms and deliver good performance. For a family, it may help keep its members on a predictable path to a successful life. For a nation, it can be something that unites its citizens on a grand scale to accomplish larger-than life tasks (a large public works project or a war effort).
It is obvious why culture is important and why it is supported by so many. It tells you how to eat to live longer, how to treat your spouse for a good marriage, how to dress for respect, and how to treat people outside the culture for a sense of class. It does so much more.
But is it really omnipotent and timeless? How did this culture stuff come about? Was it developed by a group of wise men? Was it derived from the countless real-life trial-and-error existences of many families in historic times? Is it exactly the same as it always was? These questions lead to the idea that culture was something that evolved in Darwinian fashion. Culture changed and improved as it reacted to various stimuli throughout the ages.
Culture that changes? That seems to go against what many stubborn, culture-devoted individuals would have you believe. Culture has been around forever and is always the same. It must be followed precisely or else you will fail. This is a common sentiment echoed around the world, isn't it?
Well, if these stubborn ideas are the governing rules of culture, then would not this call for culture to be something that existed before time itself existed? something that has no beginning and was always perfectly flawless? Did God Himself invent culture? Chances are that these stubborn guidelines essentially deem culture's existence impossible.
Therefore, in order for culture to even exist, it must have been developed well after time began and has experienced many, many changes. It had to have a definite beginning. The culture came into existence only because people tried to succeed at their lives in many ways and found this to be the best way or the one way that worked. Thus, culture is something that at one time was new and innovative. But then what happened in our time or the time of generations that came after the culture took full root? Has it stopped evolving? Have the stimuli disappeared? I think not. Evolution never stops. It's just that the stimuli, being the settings and circumstances to which the culture is subject, may vary more quickly than evolution can respond. And this is where cultural incompatibility, intolerance, and obsolescence come into play. This is when the culture loses touch with reality and only exists to restrict an individual from being successful; when mindless customs, traditions, and rituals constantly interfere with life.
Which cultures could these be? It should not be too hard to use a bit of common sense to distinguish these from those that do not block the road. Now it may be tempting to use this as justification to take-down all culture, but again, common sense and reason must be employed. This is not a call to uproot all culture. Rather, this is a call for those stubborn individuals who cling far too tightly and blindly onto stagnating cultures to loosen their grips and open their eyes. As the world changes, so too must culture. Things can't be forced to remain as they've always been or else those things would not be in the state they are in now. There is always a point in the past at which even the most strict culture had to be born and had to change a bit to suit the needs of its followers. It is wrong to restrict the natural evolution of something that guides our own natural social evolution.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Deafness
In a world in which we receive way more information than we can process, ignorance may not be so much a fault as it is a boon. I have been half-deaf for the better part of a week due to my persistent vulnerability to ear infections. There is, of course, plenty of pain and discomfort to be dealt with as well as other cold symptoms, but I think this partial deafness is something I am not minding as much I would have thought.
In fact, when I'm watching TV with other people, I often miss the less amplified parts of dialogue in commercials and shows. When everyone else starts laughing, they look at me and ask if I understood the joke. "I missed it... I'm pretty deaf right now," I reply with a strange sense of contentedness. I can stand there doing something with great focus and only hear muffled voices in place of what other people are saying to me seemingly in an effort to distract. Yes, for a person with concentration issues, maybe this ignorance is not such a bad thing after all.
Why do I feel content? Because most of what I am missing is just noise; mindless noise that is of no value to me. And on top of that, I don't have to interpret and understand things being said as I naturally would had I actually listened. This is a great thing when you have a habit of getting "mentally lazy". I don't have to worry about listening to others because I have an excuse, and I can just relax and drift. Who knew that it would take an ear infection to show me what is worth not listening to. Ignorance can be of great value when used in moderation.
In fact, when I'm watching TV with other people, I often miss the less amplified parts of dialogue in commercials and shows. When everyone else starts laughing, they look at me and ask if I understood the joke. "I missed it... I'm pretty deaf right now," I reply with a strange sense of contentedness. I can stand there doing something with great focus and only hear muffled voices in place of what other people are saying to me seemingly in an effort to distract. Yes, for a person with concentration issues, maybe this ignorance is not such a bad thing after all.
Why do I feel content? Because most of what I am missing is just noise; mindless noise that is of no value to me. And on top of that, I don't have to interpret and understand things being said as I naturally would had I actually listened. This is a great thing when you have a habit of getting "mentally lazy". I don't have to worry about listening to others because I have an excuse, and I can just relax and drift. Who knew that it would take an ear infection to show me what is worth not listening to. Ignorance can be of great value when used in moderation.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
The Humbling
[October 30, 2008]
Everyone isn't gifted in his or her own special way. Not everyone has a strong suit or a specialty. Why is it ingrained in us that everyone on this earth has a purpose? A calling? After all, aren't we all just individuals of a species carving out an existence on this big blue globe? That doesn't necessarily mean each individual has his strength.
What if you are one of these individuals who is not good at anything? Sure, there were plenty of things you might have been somewhat decent at or show some potential in. But when it comes down to it, there is not one thing in which you excel. You have probably had to play mental games to trick yourself into thinking you could make accomplishments. Maybe you made strides and built a cushion of confidence. But in the end, it was all for nothing. Something always went wrong. Perseverance! Summon it! You work harder and try everything possible to succeed. You pour your guts out and give up everything else that doesn't help you directly in achievement. And then, you give up and retreat. You sink into a long period of dormancy.
When you strive to make an accomplishment, you are driven by a feedback loop. With each positive, effective method of effort, a positive feedback is perceived in order to enforce more of the same. This builds confidence and more self-esteem, the fuel that drives determination. With each negative, ineffective method of effort, a negative feedback is perceived, and this drives innovation and the pursuit of more effective methods of effort. This system keeps taking place building step by step until the accomplishment is received. With much positive feedback, the self-esteem grows and determination is sustained. After a long streak of negative feedback, a positive feedback triggers an explosion of pride and self-esteem.
But what happens when a streak of these negative feedbacks goes on for too long? You give up. There is no driving force left to push the effort to accomplish up the hill. The fuel tank is empty. There is no positive feedback for reinforcement or to build self-esteem. After long enough, even relatively decent positive bursts of feedback due to successes cannot help to compensate for the preceding severe drought. Cynicism pervades and dread prevails; everyone else gifted; yourself: not. Giving more effort is not an option; there's not fuel left. Finding more effective methods of effort? The alternatives have been exhausted? Sometimes, there is no way out. Everyone else passes you by as they climb up the hill. You don't even feel intimidated or envious anymore. You have no confidence. No one is worse than you, and you are better than no one. You want to laugh when you are complimented, and you feel no right to judge anyone else. You have been humbled. You're not good enough, and there is nothing you can do about it.
Everyone isn't gifted in his or her own special way. Not everyone has a strong suit or a specialty. Why is it ingrained in us that everyone on this earth has a purpose? A calling? After all, aren't we all just individuals of a species carving out an existence on this big blue globe? That doesn't necessarily mean each individual has his strength.
What if you are one of these individuals who is not good at anything? Sure, there were plenty of things you might have been somewhat decent at or show some potential in. But when it comes down to it, there is not one thing in which you excel. You have probably had to play mental games to trick yourself into thinking you could make accomplishments. Maybe you made strides and built a cushion of confidence. But in the end, it was all for nothing. Something always went wrong. Perseverance! Summon it! You work harder and try everything possible to succeed. You pour your guts out and give up everything else that doesn't help you directly in achievement. And then, you give up and retreat. You sink into a long period of dormancy.
When you strive to make an accomplishment, you are driven by a feedback loop. With each positive, effective method of effort, a positive feedback is perceived in order to enforce more of the same. This builds confidence and more self-esteem, the fuel that drives determination. With each negative, ineffective method of effort, a negative feedback is perceived, and this drives innovation and the pursuit of more effective methods of effort. This system keeps taking place building step by step until the accomplishment is received. With much positive feedback, the self-esteem grows and determination is sustained. After a long streak of negative feedback, a positive feedback triggers an explosion of pride and self-esteem.
But what happens when a streak of these negative feedbacks goes on for too long? You give up. There is no driving force left to push the effort to accomplish up the hill. The fuel tank is empty. There is no positive feedback for reinforcement or to build self-esteem. After long enough, even relatively decent positive bursts of feedback due to successes cannot help to compensate for the preceding severe drought. Cynicism pervades and dread prevails; everyone else gifted; yourself: not. Giving more effort is not an option; there's not fuel left. Finding more effective methods of effort? The alternatives have been exhausted? Sometimes, there is no way out. Everyone else passes you by as they climb up the hill. You don't even feel intimidated or envious anymore. You have no confidence. No one is worse than you, and you are better than no one. You want to laugh when you are complimented, and you feel no right to judge anyone else. You have been humbled. You're not good enough, and there is nothing you can do about it.
Nightmares Are Good For You
[October 15, 2008]
Whoever started the idea that nightmares were a bad thing? They give you a dose of hell while you're resting in suspended animation and occasionally get you screaming. Where do nightmares come from? They're supposedly a reflection of the subconscious mind at work trying to sift and sort through memories of events that took place during the day. They may even be residual thoughts of an idle mind.
It seems so far that nightmares are a necessary evil required for regular neural processes, but is there any other purpose to them besides this? Couldn't a nightmare be seen as a jolt of adrenaline when your life has gone flat? A frying pan wacking across your face when you have given up thinking that all hope is lost? A nightmare by most people's definition is a dream of bad events that may scare or anger. It is not that hard to assume, therefore, that a nightmare could possibly place you into a scenario far worse than could be experienced in real life. The difficulty level of this game is far higher than the game of real life. At least this is the case quite often. I think that nightmares may be your subconscious's way to beat your conscious with a billy club. "Wake the hell up! You're fuckin' everything up right now." The degree of fucked-upness of one's life can be directly correlated to the frequency of these nightmares; maybe of living on the street eating trash or having serious backlash and shunning from the Family or anything else imaginable.
Of course, a freak extreme nightmare can emerge at random times, and this might be perfectly normal. But when these nightmares take place on a daily basis, and they sometimes take place during daydreams in class, well, the subconscious is likely in red alert mode. Red alert for what? Self-preservation? Maybe. How much will the boat of consciousness and the real sink before the subconscious responds with the ultimate jolt? Perhaps it is not just one big shock but several progressive stages...like the stages of flood gate closure just before a major inundation.
Whoever started the idea that nightmares were a bad thing? They give you a dose of hell while you're resting in suspended animation and occasionally get you screaming. Where do nightmares come from? They're supposedly a reflection of the subconscious mind at work trying to sift and sort through memories of events that took place during the day. They may even be residual thoughts of an idle mind.
It seems so far that nightmares are a necessary evil required for regular neural processes, but is there any other purpose to them besides this? Couldn't a nightmare be seen as a jolt of adrenaline when your life has gone flat? A frying pan wacking across your face when you have given up thinking that all hope is lost? A nightmare by most people's definition is a dream of bad events that may scare or anger. It is not that hard to assume, therefore, that a nightmare could possibly place you into a scenario far worse than could be experienced in real life. The difficulty level of this game is far higher than the game of real life. At least this is the case quite often. I think that nightmares may be your subconscious's way to beat your conscious with a billy club. "Wake the hell up! You're fuckin' everything up right now." The degree of fucked-upness of one's life can be directly correlated to the frequency of these nightmares; maybe of living on the street eating trash or having serious backlash and shunning from the Family or anything else imaginable.
Of course, a freak extreme nightmare can emerge at random times, and this might be perfectly normal. But when these nightmares take place on a daily basis, and they sometimes take place during daydreams in class, well, the subconscious is likely in red alert mode. Red alert for what? Self-preservation? Maybe. How much will the boat of consciousness and the real sink before the subconscious responds with the ultimate jolt? Perhaps it is not just one big shock but several progressive stages...like the stages of flood gate closure just before a major inundation.
The Bending of the Will
[September 22, 2008]
Have you ever heard friends or other individuals telling amazing stories of great things they had done? Stories pertaining to saving other people's lives or corralling legendary sums of money on the stock market come to mind. Now perhaps it is a well-known fact that certain stories are true while others really are just legend and nothing more. But a legend is a great story of something that happened in the past which can no longer be proven (or disproved); the evidence and the characters involved have long perished. But is a story still a legend when the characters involved are in front of your very eyes? What if that storyteller happens to be the protagonist of the story himself?
Sure, I've heard plenty of people tell such "legendary" stories. Somebody I know told me of how she once saved the lives of some car accident victims. Their smoldering car had been struck by an eighteen-wheeler on the freeway. This person blocked off traffic with her own car and then risked her life to help the victims out of their car before the flames engulfed them.
Another one of these people had started with small-time stock market play. This person within a matter of 2 years was trading hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of shares. Well, this is what his story told after all. Others have had similarly inspiring anecdotes of the great things they had done.
But again, considering that there is no way to prove or disprove the validity of such stories, what if we assume these are not true? What purpose would these individuals have of telling such unbelievable stories? Is it to bring self-righteousness? To enforce a battle-hardened superiority complex? Or is it for a deeper purpose?
Mental biases anyone? This is a term I coined not too long ago: "mental bias." It refers to the battle of the known versus the thought. A lot of times, we know facts, but we are biased in such a way that we almost subconsciously prefer to think a thought that contradicts these facts. It can almost be like an exercise of will; a will not to believe, a stubborn will. But it's not really a will at all because it is not conscious. Therefore, it's a bias. Perhaps these legendary stories are expressed in an attempt at propagating a bias, a mental bias. It is a self-inflicted distortion of perception.
After these stories are told and dreamed enough times, the mind subconsciously begins to adapt these as true experiences much the same way it would do so for real life experiences. After enough repetition, the effects are much the same as if these stories were true. Making up stories of the great things you have done and experiencing them over and over makes you feel great yourself. Perhaps they make others believe you to be great, but the effect is greatest on your own subconscious.
Of course, being able to manipulate something as powerful as the subconscious has its consequences, be they good or bad. If this tool is used in a beneficial manner, it is a wonder how much positive impact they will really have in deceiving the person and causing this person to perform beyond maximum capacity. I feel that I have much experience with these mental biases, and I truly believe that if they pervade the mind in a less than ideal way, they can wreak havoc on both one's mental self and physical livelihood. Knowing that there could be such a thing as a mental bias is the tip of the ice berg. One must remember that the tip of an iceberg typically makes up about 1/9 of that iceberg's total mass.
Have you ever heard friends or other individuals telling amazing stories of great things they had done? Stories pertaining to saving other people's lives or corralling legendary sums of money on the stock market come to mind. Now perhaps it is a well-known fact that certain stories are true while others really are just legend and nothing more. But a legend is a great story of something that happened in the past which can no longer be proven (or disproved); the evidence and the characters involved have long perished. But is a story still a legend when the characters involved are in front of your very eyes? What if that storyteller happens to be the protagonist of the story himself?
Sure, I've heard plenty of people tell such "legendary" stories. Somebody I know told me of how she once saved the lives of some car accident victims. Their smoldering car had been struck by an eighteen-wheeler on the freeway. This person blocked off traffic with her own car and then risked her life to help the victims out of their car before the flames engulfed them.
Another one of these people had started with small-time stock market play. This person within a matter of 2 years was trading hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of shares. Well, this is what his story told after all. Others have had similarly inspiring anecdotes of the great things they had done.
But again, considering that there is no way to prove or disprove the validity of such stories, what if we assume these are not true? What purpose would these individuals have of telling such unbelievable stories? Is it to bring self-righteousness? To enforce a battle-hardened superiority complex? Or is it for a deeper purpose?
Mental biases anyone? This is a term I coined not too long ago: "mental bias." It refers to the battle of the known versus the thought. A lot of times, we know facts, but we are biased in such a way that we almost subconsciously prefer to think a thought that contradicts these facts. It can almost be like an exercise of will; a will not to believe, a stubborn will. But it's not really a will at all because it is not conscious. Therefore, it's a bias. Perhaps these legendary stories are expressed in an attempt at propagating a bias, a mental bias. It is a self-inflicted distortion of perception.
After these stories are told and dreamed enough times, the mind subconsciously begins to adapt these as true experiences much the same way it would do so for real life experiences. After enough repetition, the effects are much the same as if these stories were true. Making up stories of the great things you have done and experiencing them over and over makes you feel great yourself. Perhaps they make others believe you to be great, but the effect is greatest on your own subconscious.
Of course, being able to manipulate something as powerful as the subconscious has its consequences, be they good or bad. If this tool is used in a beneficial manner, it is a wonder how much positive impact they will really have in deceiving the person and causing this person to perform beyond maximum capacity. I feel that I have much experience with these mental biases, and I truly believe that if they pervade the mind in a less than ideal way, they can wreak havoc on both one's mental self and physical livelihood. Knowing that there could be such a thing as a mental bias is the tip of the ice berg. One must remember that the tip of an iceberg typically makes up about 1/9 of that iceberg's total mass.
The Diagnosis
[November 8, 2007]
I’ve looked back in introspect so many times over the last few years. I go through cycles of it… week-in and week-out. It’s always the same thing over and over. If you’ve read up on me before, you know, the same depressing tale of losing my ambition or having “brain tar” and whatnot. But I’ve reached a point at which I cannot take it anymore. I’m deep into my college career and have reached the point of no return: either do something about the problems now and excel or let it go and regret later in my life when I realize that it’s too late. But what is the problem? There are so many, but they must all be caused by a small handful of sources.
I am chronically sleepy, mentally exhausted. That is the chief complaint. It did not matter what I did, whether I slept 5 hours a night or 10, whether I used sleeping pills or energy drinks, whether I tried sleeping earlier or taking later classes, I always, always feel drowsy in class. I can’t concentrate on a single part of a lecture. I’ll sit there staring at the board or professor trying to follow along, and I just fall off the boat within a few minutes – no matter how good or how bad the teacher. It has been going on since 11th grade. I have no interest in what they are doing anymore. I just have no brain fuel. Within a half hour into class, I start going crazy; I want to leave, just get out. I leave class early quite often as a result. I’ve researched and looked into many different problems I might have. Attention deficit disorder is always on the list as are other similar problems. Bipolar disorder? Likely. I have ecstatic highs and depressing lows sometimes within the same hour. Other times I am amazingly irritable and just an outburst away from ripping someone apart.
My uncle has a classic case of bipolar disorder, and as described by the classic case, he denies anything is wrong. After a fearful depressed state the first 2 years he lived in the US, he went into an insane state of motivation and happiness. And now, one could argue he’s in one of those other states you find in bipolar people. But unlike him or most bipolar individuals, I’m not afraid to admit anything. (even though doing so may cause others [such as ma and pa] to think I want pity or am seeking an excuse for being a sore looser) A likelier scenario is centered around myself being inflicted with narcolepsy, a sleep disorder. A narcoleptic will be perpetually drowsy regardless of the amount of sleep he or she gets. There are many other symptoms: paralysis upon awakening or falling asleep and vivid dreams almost immediately at the onset of sleep. There are many other symptoms from both disorders I seem to have, but I can’t declare anything yet. A lack of quality sleep will destroy anyone however.
A secondary problem is how other people react to my suspicions. I have absolutely no friends who would buy into any of these problems I may have. “It happens to all of us…we’re students. I’m depressed, you’re depressed, everyone is…It’s normal,” or, “Well, you’ve been working hard and not sleeping enough just like most students,” are reactions I regularly get as a slap to the face. I’m not like every-fucking-one else. I know there was a significant change I went through in high school. I’ve already described how I was before this afflicted me. I get, “You’ll be fine…you’re smart,” quite often. It’s all meaningless. What is it with people my age. They have no personal touch whatsoever. If you can prove otherwise, be my guest. You might not know how to swim and they’ll throw you into a 20ft deep lake and be amused by the sight of you choking on water in total denial that a person may not be able to swim. They want to think that everyone is alike, that they all have the same handicaps and that anyone who claims to be different is just looking for an excuse to be below average or for pity. I know I’m bashing people in general right now, but it’s just a way of venting my frustration.
After all this, there is always that idea that my ambitions are incompatible with my capabilities. When something like your cognition level is shot, it is very hard to overcome. Instead of having big dreams and pursuits, I could just throw in the towel and be content with chugging along the way I am right now. I’ll get a job in the end, make more than enough money to live on…what the hell do I care of using those “so-called” God-given abilities to make the world a better place. Am I meant to help myself and not give a damn to anyone else in this life, or am I meant to help others? What is the better thing? After all, this is all life really is about. Why do I have to think so highly of myself? Isn’t it a bit arrogant to believe that I am capable of changing the world? Seems like another tenet of bipolar disorder symptoms. Who knows? Maybe it’s a cue to me to cut the crap and just be like everyone else. They’re making progress to get somewhere while I sit here like a moron and complain about losing my former “greatness” and how other people are flawed. Yeah, you can tell me to, “Just shut-up do it you lazy bum, and stop being all emo. Just do the work and move on with it.” That’s the problem; I CAN’T FUCKING WORK! There’s that mental lapse barrier as well as that growing lack of motivation. I’ll just make an abrupt ending right here and take a nap (I slept 10 hours last night) and play videogames (which I play once every 3-4 months).The Exposition
[October 31, 2007]
Where has it all gone? Where? It seemed so overwhelming before. You know, like when it dominates you so much that you suspect nothing that unique about yourself. I’d like to call it intelligence, but there’s more than that to it. It’s a full complement of raw brain power, unflappable attention, and boundless creativity. It’s being in charge of your mind. You are so on top of things intellectually that few can understand the depth of it. Only a few realize there is something there at all. Most of them can’t quite put a finger on it. (The rest just mistaken it for partial retardation.)
Whatever it was, I lost it after 10th grade. That was the last year I had it and perhaps the climax of it all. I could comprehend it all. I would go beyond to understand something. I could come up with new ideas. I could beat boredom. I was never in need of extra sleep. I had full control of my desires. My productivity was at its peak. I was spiritually deep. I was optimistic. And then, almost instantly, that was the end. My attention span barely existed. I could only think things through if I put a brutal effort into it with the planets all aligned in a specific order. I was perpetually drowsy. I became better associated with people and gained heart, but at the same time, I became more susceptible.
Always in a continuum of an emotional drama cycle, my will was broken. And to this day, I remain very much the same way. There was positive progress this year though, my second in college. Like after a long-time broken football franchise receives a makeover in the offseason, there is hope and much expectation. After a utilitarian breakdown in mid-summer followed by a gradual existential meltdown, a renaissance was in due order. Gradual improvements came. I did what I could to combat sleep problems, I willed-away my Austin-only allergies, and I burned off what had become a very obese potbelly. But it just isn’t the same as before. I still don’t have “it” back. Things just take longer to do. A spiritual regeneration has fizzled out. I don’t feel like doing anything. I still have no discipline.
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